Angels at the window

This internet blogging stuff scares me a bit.

I am too shy so the anon of it all is attractive.  I was once long ago very vibrant but something changed and over time one teaches himself/herself to do things alone in order to survive. Friends have partners, kids, previous engagements, cancel, are ill, whatever and soon you stop calling and start planning your life by yourself.

a double edge sword that…

because as soon as you find the wherewithall  to go to a play, film,  gallery, concert on your own the ball is in your court.  If you miss a movie you have only yourself to blame.  and the guilt  oh the guilt

every book i ever wanted to read. and didn’t or haven’t yet…it becomes your fault or responsibility…an addition to the “list of things to do before you die” Who the fuck  invented that list?  I can’t get my brain around it as there are more than the decimal places of pi….That list encompasses the impossible, improbable, unlikly and obvious. Ticking off a few Pyramids - check, Angkor Wat - check, swim the channel - oops no check and put into the “highly unlikely” column with the caveat that should I ever get swept overboard on the cross channel ferry that would count……

Hug all my lost friends - put in the impossible to way too late column

time travel - (on my list!!!) I need to be able to do this in all directions. forward, backward, right left up down I need a scribble of time travel 

So today there is just a small to-do list.  Awake since 4 am, lovely coffee, geese making a clatter.

new glasses - Brompton Optician - wonderful place just to go speak with Olivier to have him tell me I am not too old for the trendy-wendy specs…. probably the highlight of my day

return shoes - yesterday’s purchase of ‘comfy’ sandal-like footwear seriously needs a rethink.

bank -  needs must - i may pretend that I am minor brit-art-celebrity if my glasses trip is successful! 

Med appt - my arthritis is debilitating. with a hip re-surfacing at age 54 helping somewhat. I want to stop taking the medication though. There must be a better way

swimming…in the heat of the early spring, slipping quietly into the water is a private glorious pleasure. years disappear, I want to do a handstand on the bottom of the pool. wishing secretly and selfishly that I was the only person in the water and that no one was watching

Buy a new mop. - is there no glamour anymore? Little known fact - it is not possible to replace a mop-head no matter how environmentally conscious one wants to be

anyway I am off on my journeys today  alone on my adventures 

and a shout out to my friend James in New York - I miss you and was thinking about that snowy night in 1978 and our night  at the Cookery seeing  Alberta Hunter  with Becky and Michael Lane. God Alberta could melt the snow on the top of mt Everest. so HOT!

Maybe I can find her records here in London.  I fancy a listen to “You Gotta Reap what You Sow”