December 2008
1 post
“I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.” — Jack Kerouac I just love this
November 2008
2 posts
I know that feeling
coming home
opening the door and dropping the bags,
fumbling off shoes
feeling the warmth and familiarity and the air
the scent of things
from lost loves, missed
dust
caught suspended in the sunlight leaking through the curtain
i know the feeling
being alone and still
in a space brings
the sleep in mid afternoon
the pillows remember my head
the duvet buries dreams
keeping secrets in...
September 2008
1 post
May 2008
2 posts
This internet blogging stuff scares me a bit. I am too shy so the anon of it all is attractive. I was once long ago very vibrant but something changed and over time one teaches himself/herself to do things alone in order to survive. Friends have partners, kids, previous engagements, cancel, are ill, whatever and soon you stop calling and start planning your life by yourself. a double edge sword...
April 2008
20 posts
Sometimes it is easier, but not always.
Harper: In your experience of the world. How do people change?
Mormon Mother: Well it has something to do with God so it's not very nice. God splits the skin with a jagged thumbnail from throat to belly and then plunges a huge filthy hand in, he grabs hold of your bloody tubes and they slip to evade his grasp but he squeezes hard, he insists, he pulls and pulls till all your innards are yanked out and the pain....we can't even talk about that. And then he stuffs them back, dirty, tangled and torn. It's up to you to do the stitching.
Harper: And then up you get. And walk around.
Mormon Mother: Just mangled guts pretending.
Harper: That's how people change.
-Tony K. (whose work has saved my life on no small number of occasions).
**********************************************
This is exactly why I follow Rach's blog. and I guess why I shamelessly re-blog thing even though I think it is a strange thing to do. Todays trip to the bookstore will send me chasing after Tony Kushner...
Angels in America made me think about everything I had ever taken for granted
“A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is...”
– Oscar Wilde Quotes (via bluechameleon)
this reblog.......
I just really wanted to reblog this Even though I think all the reblogging stuff is a bit weird. I want to have this somewhere. I want to paint these words on my walls and give my beautiful nieces copies of them in tiny jewelry boxes. Wrapped like the treasures they are. So if the dark days come for them they can open these tiny tiny boxes and unfolded that piece of paper and read these words...
“Never Give Up On People You Love If You Can. Never. And Never Give Up On...”
– I know that sounds so serious and crazy and weird but I just wanted to say that to you tonight Foggy. It is a scary weird world, and it get’s so dark sometimes that it seems like it’s safer being unhappy, but you know, when you are happy, when shit is working, sometimes that just means exactly...
fun website →
a little truth
This morning i read a poem on someones blog that made me remember what my life was like when I was 33 a little true story story in the spring of 1983 when I was just 31 I fell in love with a painter - he was French and for months we made love to Bartok and slept together and ate together and I posed for his drawings and we walked along the coast in Pt Reyes together with backpacks full of wine...
mr. a. burroughs →
Running with Scissors need i say more?
a few things
i never imagined saying goodbye to so many people those days in the 70’s had seemed so free and we were all so beautiful and young and careless with love and kisses the boys were all like Byron Today was one of those turncoat April days - suddenly cold and damp and I was caught out walking down Sloane Street. Moving toward the railing under the lilac tree for shelter. Lilacs are my absolute...
“the truth is
i am always
getting my
feelings hurt
because they
are bigger...”
– (via ryanadams) This …this is a beautiful post and this poem from ryanadams 20 April 2008 is strong and sad“ once the fires of hell cease cease fire and the smoke clears that is what i started with those words today i stop looking at your face or thinking about your hands i loved them i...
Venice
Rachel has posted a very beautiful photograph by Alexey Titarenko of Venice. god is there any place on earth more magical? I was last there about 10 years ago for a tryst with an Italian architect - he showed me secret sculptures and held my hand as we walked in the October mist. No place does mist like Venice. and nowhere has more dark corners to surrender kisses to italian highwaymen…....
i need to buy this the moment it comes out
http://augusten.com/ i am all about the redemptive power of hope
sometimes when you open a box....
I should fill in a little about my late friend Ron Jehu mentioned in a post about Eva Hesse. I had the amazing good fortune to meet Ron shortly after moving to San Francisco in 1980 - perhaps this obit from one of the SF papers (i don’t know who wrote it - sorry) can explain a tiny bit about the way Ron was about people and art and style - he remains one of the magicians in my life. We had...
Eva Hesse
It is funny how things collide in ones life. April is always the month - in April 2002 I was introduced to Eva Hesse’s artwork by a dear friend Ron Jehu in San Francisco. There was a fantastic exhibition at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. We spent a blissful afternoon examining and falling under the spell of the delicate and fragile works - each one revealing ethereal beauty as...
other peoples blogs
when I am bored or can’t sleep I sometimes look on other peoples tumbler sites - there are a couple that have amazing photography, some that have hilarious drawings, some that make me want to be young and in love many that inspire … and this reblogging thing is strange - I prefer to let OPT (other peoples tumblers) catapult me into the endless abyss that is the Bermuda Triangle of...
Without Stopping
Spring in London Term break for all the children Paul’s wife and 3 littleones (who are absolutely gorgeous G-o-r-g-e-o-u-s are on the houseboat so I have escaped. Inventing excuses pretending to be at work just to be alone Breakfast at the Picasso - Some day I will write a book about all the small cafe’s with famous names - The Mona Lisa is the closest to the boat but today I swanned...
There is this person who posted an image of what could be the first ever photograph IN THE WORLD.and it is a sort of photogram of a small leaf. and she posted the link to the article. thank you rachel whoever you are. ”The image is a “photogenic drawing”—a process that Talbot popularized after 1839, as Schaaf notes in his essay. “Following Talbot’s instructions, an experimenter had...
March 2008
28 posts
Stella Cartwright
something disturbed my sleep as usual BBC4 radio offered a treasure in an unexpected biography of the “Muse of Rose Street” For now I am doomed to scour the internet for more snippets about Stella. Maggie Fergusson’s book will be in my hands by MondayUnder the rose - Stella Cartwright By David Stenhouse More than 20 years after her death, Stella Cartwright still has the power to...
Rhonda
I’ve been having a bad week - what a waste of time and energy being angry is. My quarrel for the past month has been with my bank - and a foreign draft that I ordered in February which was never received and finally today - exactly 28 days later I collected it from the branch. What a palaver! I felt so bad that I took the staff some sweet boxes full of candy and THEY felt so bad that they...
Ferlinghetti
So this is a strange thing to do. somehow I have become a voyeur of sorts - no one looks at my mutterings but during bored moments I can peek in on people I don’t know. Today someone posted a picture of Lawrence Ferlinghetti’s book Coney Island of My Mind. I know Lawrence - living in San Francisco being a book junkie for the whole of the 1980’s …well, it was just a...
Loss
Song of Childhood By PeteHandkeWhen the child was a child It walked with its arms swinging, wanted the brook to be a river, the river to be a torrent, and this puddle to be the sea.When the child was a child, it didn’t know that it was a child, everything was soulful, and all souls were one….. i was 36 when the telephone rang at 5 am telling me that my brother Clifford had been...
Tracey Emin
This is my favorite Friday thing - it is some sort of sustenance for me - Tracey Emins column in the Independent. I am in love with her and have been for 15 years. She scares me and haunts me - her drawings sing to me Maybe someone else will like this too. Friday, 21 March 2008“It’s 3.20am. I have just woken up. I’m staring at the TV. A nature programme fills the screen....
God I’m having a fucked up day First there is no heat or hot water…which meant that even on my day off I had to get up get dressed go to the sports center get undressed get showered get dressed again and come home - all that because I am one of those people who cannot even get her brain started unless it has been primed with a good dousing… On the positive side it was a stunning...
Good night Paul Scofield
King Lear speaks to me more than any other Shakespearean play. The tears that roll down my face are from some where so deep that I cannot really fix the source in my soul. So this morning we are saying goodnight to Paul Scofield who has died at 86. That is a fine age for a Lear - No one rages as majestically as Lear at the storm of life and old age:“Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage!...
anthony minghella
I am still processing the sad sad news of Anthony Minghella’s death this morning. To lose him so young - 54 is heartbreaking. He knew secrets about clouds. I will miss his vision I hope the angels are taking good care of him
Yevgeny Yevtushenko
Colours When your face appeared over my crumpled life at first I understood only the poverty of what I have. Then its particular light on woods, on rivers, on the sea, became my beginning in the coloured world in which I had not yet had my beginning. I am so frightened, I am so frightened, of the unexpected sunrise finishing, of revelations and tears and the excitement finishing. I don’t...
oranges and lemons
today is a cold wet rainy day The church bells across the river are singing “oranges and lemons “oranges and lemons” say the bells of St Clements “you owe me a farthing” say the bells of St Martins “when will you pay me?” say the bells of Old Bailey “when I grow rich” say the bells of Shoreditch “when will that be?” say the bells...
